174: How and Why to be More Sociable: A Book Review of “Social” by Matthew Lieberman

“A kind word is worth as much to the brain in terms of rewards as a certain amount of money.” – Matthew Lieberman

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Would you consider yourself sociable? Or even a socialite? Do you think you’re an introvert or an extrovert? Are social experiences important to your life?

Matthew Lieberman argues that social things are actually the most important aspect of our lives. He says that when we are rejected, we feel actual, real pain. Pain that is just as real as when we experience physical pain. In fact, he claims that the pain of heartbreak can be just as intense as the pain of breaking a leg.

All humans are wired to be social. But why? What does this do for us? And how can we take this knowledge and use it to help us succeed at greater and greater levels? Learn more on this episode of the James Swanwick Show!

“Bullying is so painful to humans not just because of what the bully thinks, but because we think that others must think what the bully is thinking.” – Matthew Lieberman

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Key Takeaways

  • Connection is the foundation on which our social lives are founded
  • Humans naturally want to be around people, a team
  • A kind word is worth as much to the brain in terms of rewards as a certain amount of money
  • All humans have a need to belong, and to know that others like, admire and love them
  • Bullying is so painful to humans not just because of what the bully thinks, but because we think that others must think what the bully is thinking
  • Social pain is real pain. Sometimes these are the absolute most painful experiences of our lives, i.e., a loved one’s death, a breakup, etc

Resources

“Social” by Matthew Lieberman

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